Tough Love

It’s come time for me to confess something to my readers (if there are any). A secret. A shameful secret that I’ve been carrying around for many months now. A burden to bear as I float through life hiding my dishonorable obsession. A secret so embarrassing, I expect any readers I do have to immediately un-bookmark this blog. Are you ready? *Deep breath* Okay.
I am entrapped by Vh1’s reality dating show Tough Love.
There I said it.
I feel so liberated!
The premise of this show, now in its second season, is to take nine women of diverse ages and backgrounds and transform them into hot temptress’, irresistible to men. The catch: all of them are totally jacked when it comes to their dating lives. There’s the party girl, the stripper, the gold digger, the southern belle, the self-conscious, the rocker, the over-achiever, the chameleon, and the repeat offender who is back after being cast on season one.
When I say these girls are jacked up, I mean most of these girls have absolutely 1) no idea what they want 2) deranged ideas of how to get what they want 3) misguided reality about what men want and how to get it from them 4) all or some combination of points 1, 2, and 3.
To give you an example. The rocker chick has obnoxiously huge fake boobs and a superficial persona to match. On the very first episode the host, professional matchmaker Steve Ward, puts the women in a situation to test the first impressions they give men. This woman is falling out of her, already barely there, top and was surprised when the men she talked with only commented about her cup size. Really lady?
So while this new season is only 2 episodes in (I watched the entire 1st season start to finish), it is already trite with drama of male illiterate women, infighting when women with strong personalities live together, and an already healthy dose of ‘tough love’ from Steve.
There is a short, yet probably inappropriate story of how I got into these reality TV shows that involves early morning romps, of which I was not involved, but my life has been ever changed. I have had to hide my love of such entertainment from my two roommates, Big Guy Roommate and Little Guy Roommate. Should they ever catch me watching said show, my masculinity and sexuality would be brutally investigated. So, until today, I kept my passion a secret.
But secret no more.
I recently found myself engaged in conversation with a fair dame we’ll call Emma. Emma is new to the city and is attending classes of further education (i.e. she’s going to grad school). Emma is above average looking and as energetic as a beagle puppy. Emma’s problem is that she’s socially inept. Inept may actually be too gracious.
I first met Emma through a mutual friend. Our mutual friend was then dating a guy that she seemed pretty smitten with. As things in their courtship began to hit the rocks and spiral downward, Emma began flirting with our friends soon-to-be ex boyfriend. Minus five points.
At the time, Emma had expressed to me an interest in another boy, who’s name I honestly can’t remember but holds little necessity. Hitting on boys who are not the boy you’re dating: Minus five more points.
As a few weeks go by, my roommates and I move into Emma’s neighborhood. Quite literally six blocks away, and invite her to our housewarming party. To which she says she’ll attend then no-shows. Minus two points.
All the while it turns out Emma is actually dating our mutual friends ex tarnishing their relationship in the process. Minus ten points and a friend.
I was recently talking to Emma and she expressed some frustrations to me. Being new to the city is certainly a difficult spot, especially when you don’t know anyone. I can sympathize with that. But Emma was having trouble making girl-friends.
DUH! What girl wants to be friends with the girl that dates her friends’ exes immediately after they do? Aside from the idea that girls stick together (chicks before dicks and all that other crap), there is an unwritten rule about dating someone’s ex. It exists among men too (and was featured in Bud Lite’s ‘man-laws’ commercial campaign. Yes I like beer.) Should our mutual friend be upset that Emma started dating this boy almost immediately after she ended things with him? Maybe not, but shouldn’t Emma, as a ‘friend’, have kept her distance at least until they have the ceremonial give-back-the-other’s-stuff? I think so.
But it gets better.
As I was talking to her, she confessed to me that he was too much for her. He was talking about serious relationship stuff that she isn’t ready for. So in an attempt to get him to back off, she told him that she has a history with drug use, which is completely false. When this didn’t work at repelling this guy, she decided she would just take a gift from him in the form of tickets to a football game of her (and my) favorite team and try to deal with it later.
So basically we’ve got Emma dating a friends ex immediately after the breakup--causing the friend to distrust Emma-- while Emma isn’t that interested in the guy she just spoiled a friendship for-- lied to him about drugs to get him to leave her alone --and acted like a gold digger to get expensive football tickets from him, the guy she’s not interested in and the former boyfriend of a girl-friend.
Does this broad sound like she should be on Tough Love? To me she does. I’m filling out her application now.